It’s time for a National Mental Health Offender Registry!

We at NamiDearest have been highly concerned about our wandering mentally ill loved ones as well as those groups who refer to themselves as “survivors of psychiatry”, particularly those from the “antipsychiatry” factions. True to our cause, we have developed a plan to curtail the unacceptable freedoms bestowed upon these people by the Bill of Rights in the United States Constitution.

Today, my fellow NamiDearests, we call for a National Mental Health Offender Registry, referred to from herein as the “MHOR“. The MHOR would be modeled upon the already existing National Sex Offender Registry, but it would not be limited to those who’ve been convicted of criminal offenses. A serious mental health offense exists by application of any diagnosis by a mental health clinician, and anyone so diagnosed would be included in the registry and monitored for compliance with a psychiatric treatment regimen. This is all about prevention!

You’re saying, “but this sounds very much like assisted outpatient treatment.” Well, it is, only better! We will register and track everyone who is diagnosed for treatment compliance, and the registry will be public, so we will all be able to identify the mentally ill in our neighborhoods, at work, school and in our social groups. This way we will know who to avoid while walking the dog, who should be laid off, and who should be suspended from classes BEFORE they do anything dangerous or crazy.

In addition, MHOR teams will take advantage of the latest technology, using GPS tracking and implantable microchips to easily locate runaway offenders and to store all of their psychiatric records on their (or I should say in their) person, to make it faster and more efficient for medical professionals to know who is faking medical problems for attention, or having neurotic symptoms rather than real medical needs. Those patients coming to the ED with a psychiatric history can be easily swept away for psychiatric evaluation, clearing the emergency beds for patients having real heart attacks and real pain. Mental health offenders will be required to report to a parole psychiatrist on a regular basis. Those violating psychiatric parole will be subject to involuntary commitment and other safety measures.

All mentally ill will carry microchip enhanced identification cards in place of the traditional forms of ID, which will be reserved for us, the mentally well. The program will utilize a National Instant Background Check service that can be implemented at every cash register, much like the way customers are currently carded for alcohol and cigarettes, but by entering the ID number, the cashier will alert the central registry that a mental health offender is attempting to purchase a sharp item, a poisonous item, vitamins and supplements, or an item containing caffeine, in addition to monitoring for alcohol and cigarette purchases. Those purchase attempts will be aborted instantly.

We are enlisting the support of the Canadian government in compiling a registry of their own mentally ill. Their national health insurance programs should make this nearly effortless. Mentally ill Canadians will be quickly detained at our borders, so that no new mentally ill can enter our homeland to use our services, steal our jobs and kill our people. Indeed, this important monitoring and detention is already underway.

The general public will feel more at peace, because they too will have access to the important identifying information. The public registry will look something like this:

First name: Jane                                                  

Middle name: B.

Last name: Crayze

Keep your family safe. Check background information    on others who are around your family – babysitters, coaches, home contractors, camp counselors, new neighbors, anyone. Start  here.